I've never been one to make New Year's Resolutions, and not because I think it's a terrible idea. Mostly because self-control is hard, and I have a severe fear of failure. This year, though, I've felt the nudge to do something different. I will be choosing a word for 2018: LISTEN. Lately I've found myself living inside of strange echo chamber. My kids do something annoying, and I start to think about how to post about it in a hilarious way on Facebook. I see my dog do something cute, and I immediately snap a photo for the world to see. What kind of blog post can I write that will garner the most attention? What status update and adorable photo will gain the most "likes" and "comments"? What kind of witty, self-deprecating comment can I add to a Facebook conversation that will make me appear charming and genuine? This mindset isn't reserved just for social media either. For as long as I can remember, I have enjoyed making people laugh with silly one-liners and storytelling techniques. Even though I truly am an introvert, I also enjoy affirmation. Is that true for all of us? I don't think any of that is bad in and of itself, but I've been noticing a side effect of these behaviors: I forget to listen. I forget to listen to those around me, the friends and family members and students that I encounter in my everyday life. And more importantly, I forget to listen to the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit. Instead of praying for my sometimes-annoying children, I write status updates in my head. Instead of truly listening to my student share about the decision-making process in selecting a major, I think about the perfect story from my own life that somehow relates to her situation. Rather than truly focusing on what my husband tells me about his day, I scroll through a newsfeed or think about a recipe or remember a story I wanted to tell him. Instead of turning to Jesus, my best friend and confidant, as I try to make sense of the world around me, I think about how to compose the best-ever blog. And I don't want to do that in 2018. I'm not 100% sure what this will look like, but I know it will sound quieter. It will include less social media presence and more time of quiet reflection. And I'm excited to see what the Holy Spirit does. I'm not signing off of my blog or Facebook for the entire year because sometimes writing can be an essential part of my personal listening process and some of my best friends are found on social media, but I will probably post less often and more intentionally. When my mind starts racing with what I could say or what I should write, I will silently think to myself, "Listen."
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