Each semester I teach a Speech course to high school juniors and seniors, starting with a brief overview of the communication process, including nonverbal communication.
This week I’ve been thinking about one aspect I don’t spend much time on with my students: nonverbal communication through appearance. In a way, this concept is the opposite of “don’t judge a book by its cover.” For example, if I come to work on the day of the Iowa/Iowa State football game wearing an Iowa State t-shirt, I have identified myself as cheering for the Cyclones. My appearance has spoken before I uttered a word. Of course at times this kind of judgment leads us astray, but we have all gauged a person’s intentions or allegiances based upon appearance. Our appearance also speaks silently through symbols. We’ve seen this in the news on a large scale as the South Carolina legislature worked to remove the Confederate battle flag from the State House grounds. From a growing understanding that this symbol is rife with a racist and hate-filled history, this state government is choosing to no longer associate themselves with the flag of those who viewed blacks as property. This is happening on a smaller scale here in Okoboji where I have asked a local business owner to remove a towel displaying the Confederate flag from his marina showroom. This seems like a small thing to some observers. They have said, “It’s just a flag!” or “Get a life! Don’t you have more important things to worry about?” But then I return to the nonverbal messages these symbols send. The flag might be made of innocuous fabric, but the message being sent is not innocuous. As my friend and church leader Anthony Parrott wrote, “Words, images, and symbols have meaning. It’s why humans bother having them around. When I call you a dirty, nasty name, it offends you. And it should. It would be absurd for me to tell you, ‘It’s just a word.’ The very point of the word is to communicate. If I were to post a graphic image to your Facebook wall, you would probably be offended. I could protest, ‘It’s just a graphical representation. It’s just pixels. It’s just electromagnetic waves.’ But that doesn’t change the offensive nature of the image.” The offensive nature of the Confederate flag, similarly, isn’t changed by claiming the symbol is being used from a place of pride and heritage. Lawmakers on both sides of the aisle find themselves coming to similar conclusions on this topic. On July 1, Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul, speaking at an event held at the very marina displaying the Confederate towel, said, “I think the time has come for the Confederate flag to go, particularly with this young murderer who decided to wrap himself in the flag. I think the symbolism of it, it’s impossible to separate it from slavery and bondage and now murder.” Recently I have found myself resorting to categorizing people: safe influences for my children and unsafe influences for my children. This might be a gross oversimplification, but for now it is my reality. Those who have chosen to nonverbally associate themselves with the Dylan Roofs of the world, with the KKK and the slave owners and the overt racists, they go into the unsafe category. You can tell me with words you are not racist, but when I see you sporting the Confederate flag on the back of your truck or in a meme on your Facebook wall, the nonverbal message shouts a contrary message. And yes, it may be your First Amendment right to display the flag, but you must consider carefully the message - even an unintended one - you are sending. As my students prepare to stand in front of the class and deliver speeches, I urge them to consider their appearance. Don’t dress like a slob. Show us you care about your speech by caring about your appearance. Those same instructions apply to life outside of the classroom, too. Your symbols can speak louder than your words, so choose them carefully.
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This is a teaching blog, but since it’s summer, I don’t have students in my classroom right now. Instead I’ll pretend you’re all sitting at my desks. Picture quotes about writing and revising on laminated cardstock pinned above the whiteboard. Imagine shelves upon shelves of books and posters of my favorite spots in Paris. I’m sitting in front of you on my stool, holding a steaming cup of tea, my hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. My heart is heavy as I speak to you. A couple of weeks ago, right after nine innocent, beautiful black lives were cut short in a church in Charleston, it was brought to my attention that Parks Marina, a reputable local business, was displaying for the world to see a towel from a cherished collection. Next to towels of Elvis and a hula dancer is a towel of a bulldog in front of a background of the Confederate flag with the words “Rebel Bulldog.” When approached about taking the towel down, the business owner refused while of course defending the fact that they aren’t racist. Then tonight I heard from a dear friend who came across the Uncle Kracker concert at Preservation Plaza in Arnolds Park where she saw trucks with high-flying Confederate flags. When she told the owners that the Confederate flag doesn’t belong here, they sneered and said, “Yes, it does.” My husband and I are raising our sons here in Northwest Iowa where they experience little diversity, a burden I struggle with daily. I’ve written before about the microaggressions and implicit biases I’ve seen in my classroom and my attempts at discussing race in my classroom. However, I naively imagined we were immune to overt racism here in the Iowa. After all, we’re north of the Mason-Dixon. I’m sad because I was wrong. I’m angry because we can all do better. I’ve watched posts shared on Facebook defending the Confederate flag as a piece of Southern heritage. I’ve also witnessed plenty of white silence on a topic that never strays far from my mind, even in my dreams. I’ve seen good “friends” express outrage that the Dukes of Hazzard is no longer on TV Land while I pray at night that I can keep my sons safe. And I’ve taught my sons. That flag is not your friend. It symbolizes people who were willing to die for the right to own black people, people who look like you. If you see that flag, you go the opposite direction and don’t look back. Last fall I walked around helping students, and I peered over the shoulder of a student whose laptop wallpaper proudly and boldly displayed a truck with the Confederate flag on the back. I was stunned. “Is that your truck?” I quietly asked. “No, it’s my brother’s,” the student smirked at me. I walked away then, and I wish I could go back to the conversation and teach him. It replays when I close my eyes, and I choose my words differently. So now I educate you. I start here because I don’t know where to turn. Because I’m scared for my sons. Because I don’t know where we’re safe. Read this article for starters. It’s not very long, but it shares honestly the experience of a woman raised in the South. It also addresses the changing nature of symbols, including the swastika. (Perhaps we can all learn from the Denazification that took place after World War II.) As this author concludes, the bad of the Confederate flag far outweighs the good. It’s time to tuck it away. Then read this article about choosing white responsibility rather white guilt. That will force you to take action rather than sit uncomfortably with your own weakness. Most importantly, consider this quote from the man who created the Confederate flag. If that doesn’t speak to the original intent of the flag, then I don’t know what does. (Spoiler alert: It was racist in nature.) Here on the day after July 4th, I choose to have hope for our country. I want to believe that we can change, starting in small ways. I am asking local friends to urge Parks Marina to take down the racist towel that hangs in their showroom. Write emails, make phone calls, stop in and chat. Get on their Facebook page and let them know what you think. That is NOT a symbol we want associated with our community, a tourist destination for many. While First Amendment rights do allow individual citizens to display vile, racist views, it does not mean that such expressions of hate should go unchecked by fellow Americans who understand the anger, exclusion and fear such displays promote. I am asking others to take a stand against the Confederate flag, the beloved symbol of Dylan Roof. When you see it in public, be brave like my friend Dee Dee and tell others it’s not welcome where you live. Share posts on your Facebook page. Use your voice to share the truth about the stars and the bars. And finally I am asking fellow parents to talk with your children. I think we can bring about changes in our country, but they will take time, and they will start with the young. Our boys and girls need to learn the real truth about racism in our country, not the candy-coated version they might encounter in textbooks and from ignorant teachers. Teach them that racism didn’t go away after the Civil War or the Civil Rights Movement. Explain that MLK’s dream still hasn’t come to a fruition. Have the difficult conversations that might lead to more questions than answers. And then find resources to answer those challenging questions, unwilling to rest until your children understand, until you understand. That's your homework. Until next time, class is dismissed. |
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September 2020
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