Because my childhood was so idyllic (two happily married parents, a supportive educational system, room to be creative and explore, etc.), it's difficult to write about that time with a critical lens. I need to share something here, however, to help you understand my journey. We didn't have to drive far from our predominantly white community to discover a pocket of diversity. Aside from a small grocery store and a second-hand store that sold clothes, our shopping options were limited, so occasionally my family would pile into the station wagon and drive to the nearest urban area. It wasn't a huge city, but it had multiple stoplights and even a mall! As I grew older, those same trips were taken with carloads of friends. It was in this space that I learned, through observation, that people of color were to be feared. We avoided the more diverse areas of the city because of the crime; we locked our doors when someone with a certain look came too close to the car. "What makes Black people so criminal?" I thought to myself. "Are the Black people here so poor because they're lazy?" I wondered. And of course the logical conclusion could only be this: certain populations of people of color were inherently uneducated, poor, criminal, bad. None of these words were ever explicitly said to me, however. My parents worked hard to teach me to love everyone; I grew up in a church that preached and lived out the gospel's mission to love our neighbor. But still, I was learning. When I became a mother to children of color, the scales began to fall from my eyes as I learned about systemic racism and implicit bias. And I realized I had been asking the wrong questions all along. Instead of "What makes Black people so criminal?" I should have been asking, "Why are Black communities policed differently than white communities? Why are Black perpetrators handed different sentences than their white counterparts? What has led to the school-to-prison pipeline?" Instead of asking "Are the Black people here so poor because they're lazy?" I should have been asking, "What kinds of discrepancies exist in our educational system? What unfair rules and regulations in the housing industry have created these neighborhoods? Do Black people and white people always have the same employment opportunities?" If I had started with those questions rather than the questions full of stereotypes and assumptions, I would have reached a healthier conclusion much sooner. But here I am today, digging deep and looking for the answers. Today you might find yourself asking, "Why are these Black protestors so angry? Why are these Black athletes so disrespectful to the flag and veterans?" And maybe it's time you reframe those questions to really discover the answers, not the assumptions. We live in a country deeply divided for reasons more complex than any of us understand. For today, however, I'm going to look at the questions I'm asking and move forward from there. If you'd like suggestions for resources on these hard conversations, I'm happy to point you in the right direction. Until then, let's keep asking the right questions.
1 Comment
Nancy Anderson
9/29/2017 10:18:12 am
Thank you, Kim. You are an amazing teacher that allows us to see things through your eyes. Keep it coming please.
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