I’m an Enneagram 2, a Helper through and through, but today I saw how the self-sacrificing and people-pleasing components to my type 2 might be detrimental to in-person teaching during the Times of COVID. As I was walking to my classroom today, I saw a student looking lost outside the door. A perfect opportunity to help! She asked me if she was in the right classroom for Spiritual Formations. In order to help her, though, I needed to look at her schedule on her phone. That required being much closer than six feet. Thankfully we were both masked. I felt the healthy “buzz” I get from helping someone, but it came with a side of discomfort from the physical proximity. Another Enneagram 2 weakness of mine is an inability to set healthy boundaries. You can see how this might be a problem as we cram 23 adult-sized bodies in a classroom space. That also means, though, that my desire to be liked makes it hard for me to assert myself. Again today I had to remind a student to make sure his bandanna was covering his nose. This feels like the old days of monitoring cell phone use; now I monitor proper face covering use. And while this might not be Enneagram related, I’ve always made it one of my first priorities as a teacher to build a sense of community. I didn’t feel like that really happened on day one this year. I didn’t let my students introduce themselves or discuss our freewriting activity. Their seats face the front of the room, so I am on display in front of them and on the screen. This is not my teaching style at all. As I read through their introduction letters in Moodle, I noticed that many students mentioned that they were happy to be together on campus, that they missed community through discussion. So today we ventured into discussion. Using quotes about critical thinking and revision, we engaged in some freewriting before discussing. And nearly every single student in both of my classes had thoughts to share. I heard so many voices! They are hungry for community, ravenous for connection, starving to hear their own voices -- even behind the masks. At times I found myself moving around the front of the room like I did in days past, getting closer than I should have to students in the front. And then I forgot the student joining us on Zoom, having to check a couple of times to make sure she was still with us and wanted to add to the discussion. It was better, but not perfect. And all of the talking feels dangerous. Too many aerosols? Too much time with shared air? I’m trying to remember that keeping students safe and healthy is ultimately the most helpful choice I can make. That requires a cognitive shift for me...and way more time spent planning than in previous semesters. I forgot to ask Julia if she listened to her song yet. I’ll check on Thursday. During my first class today, I complimented a student who was wearing Stan Smith sneakers like mine. Then after the fact I realized that he might be embarrassed to have the same footwear as his middle-aged professor. If it makes him feel better, President Obama has them, too!
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September 2020
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