Nov. 13: What do you do to take time out for yourself? I've been dreading this prompt since I started the challenge. I want to write that in my spare time I run marathons and knit sweaters for charity and practice calligraphy, but I don't. I feel like those are the proper answers to a question like this. Something Big and Worthwhile. Nearly three years ago I became a working mom, and I've struggled since then to find a balance between my roles as wife, mother, teacher, and human. I'm afraid it's the last position that gets neglected the most. Time for myself might be a few minutes reading with my students or writing quietly at my desk with a cup of tea. It could be watching The Voice with my family. It might be a short walk around the neighborhood with my dog or a glass of wine and a Hitchcock movie with my husband after the boys are tucked into bed. The Working Mom Debate has raged on for decades, and I have nothing new to add to the discussion. I will say, however, that it is my personal belief that each day does not include enough hours to Do It All. So I excel where I can excel and prioritize what I think it most important and try to model balance to my children and my students. I've reached the conclusion that there will always be dishes on the counter and laundry to be folded and piles of paper in my classroom. I will go to bed most days thinking of the to-do list that is never fully completed. However, I often find myself singing the words of "As Is" by Ani DiFranco because they serve as a powerful reminder: "When I look around, I think this, this is good enough. And I try to laugh at whatever life brings. 'Cause when I look down, I just miss all the good stuff, and when I look up, I just trip over things." It isn't an anthem of depressing resignation for me, though; it's a melody of firm acceptance. Good enough. It can be an acceptance of dreams and looking forward along with contentment and appreciation, a presence in the now. I might forget again tomorrow as I look at the Facebook photos of half-marathons and photo-worthy desserts, as I hear of other moms doing yoga at 5 a.m. or baking cupcakes from scratch for the school bake sale. But I have this written now. Published. Tattooed. Today I am enough.
6 Comments
Jill Dawson
11/13/2014 04:48:58 am
I appreciate the voice that your posts have. I can really relate, as I know other teachers will as well.
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Nancy Ironside
11/13/2014 10:41:22 am
beautiful picture and beautiful piece. Thanks for sharing!
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Brittany
11/13/2014 11:38:28 am
The guilt and anxiety tumors that grow inside working moms make us feel like we're never doing anything enough. You have the perspective and honesty that I wish I, and I'm sure many other women, could express more, especially when our hearts are heavy with self-loathing multiple times a day. Nice post.
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